2006 Highlights and lowlights


And at the end of another interesting year,it is always good for me to reflect on all that happened. If I was a better writer, I could write a "Sitcom" about my life and this house!!Being retired is a good thing and gives me time to enjoy many things I didn't have time to do when working. My "open house" continues to be interesting and sometimes challenging. Creating a "little house with BIG IDEAS" in a "caring sharing environment" is a "Good Thing". And very socially useful.As well as financing my interests and funding the house being warm in winter.Like NOW! With snow outside. I grew up in such a cold house.There have been 104 overnight people bed stays this year. These are relations, friends, bed and breakfast guests, and some from www.hospitalityclub.com and www.couchsurfing.org and www.womenwelcomewomen.org.uk (5Ws) All of whom bring something into my life.
Good things were lots of cinema which I love, having grown up watching Saturday morning pictures with my brothers from the age of four. Local theatre has provided some interesting evenings. I have enjoyed playing badminton again. Days in fascinating London with friends have been fun.Exhibitions and South Bank, and Docklands light railway etc.
My friend Elise's mum stayed here for a week in June and we shared the excitement of Drama Festival together. Two plays every evening and a very articulate adjudicator.
My 60th birthday celebrations were many and fun and involved lots of people.Two Sundays with lots of family and friends and my little brother Kevin came over as a surprise to join us. I did a tea dance for the Tsunami victims because we have a 5W member working in Sri Lanka who is spending our money wisely there. And a 5W who visited me, died in it.I abseiled down Twickenham Rugby Stadium to be part of the world record to raise money for Cancer research. Niki and Martin filled the house with purple balloons which was fun. And 14 of us went to the Barn Theatre to see "Humble Boy". A delightful play I first saw at The National Theatre.
And my divine right to travel with my purple backpack has been fun. A month in America in summer (another entry on my blog) to see my beautiful granddaughter Jaz who is now 17 months, and Rachel Rob and Jaz are happily settled into a house in Woodland Hills, Los Angeles.I was there for her first birthday. She is very cute, fun and fascinating. Rachel takes her to work with her and looks after two small boys too.I met beautiful people all over America in a trip which was planned by email to see 5Ws members which is a very good idea and one of the 18 organisations I belong to. And other friends there.I went to Minnesota, San Francisco, Los Angeles,Texas, Tennessee, New Jersey, Philadelpia and Vermont. It was a magic trip.I even met my Autralian nephew Nick and his partner Maggie in LA where they had ridden Route 66 (Chicago to LA) on a Harley Davidson motor bike. I have a powerful sense of "belonging" to my big family and am a useful member. I love it when we have gatherings here. We live in England, Ireland, Switzerland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and America. And this house is a good one to meet up in.
Kevin and Anne came over in October to see their new beautiful granddaughter Olivia, and we had a big table lunch here, which was the day before my niece Sharon and family emigrated to Australia. And I went to Olivia's christening in Dorset, meeting up with an old friend Wendy down there.
In November I had a great time in Dublin seeing my niece Karen and Hughie and the girls, taking my friend Jill with me. We went to the races at Punchestown and one of my horses won.We enjoyed he public transport system there and went to the seaside twice. I used to go to Bray as a child when we spent our summers in Dublin.We dropped in to see Jo, my friend Barry's cousin. He is 80 and was so pleased to see us, although we were unexpected, and shared his lunch and opened another bottle of red wine. Just as I would do here. I went to the Abbey Theatre there and enjoyed "Drama at Innish" although I was disappointed to find no loop or infra red system to help people with hearing deficiencies. I am quite pleased with my NHS digital hearing aids. Then fuelled by enthusiasm and cheap flights to Europe I went to see my niece Beverly and her lovely family in Switzerland. I taught them how to play Rummicup which I bought them 2 years ago. And I went sledging with Mike and the children in the fresh snow.We went to Geneva to see the Red Cross museum which was a salutary experience. I bought a new digital camera there as my other one broke. Some of my photos are on www.photoboxgallery.com/photosbyVal I did a lovely movie of great nephew James doing a back flip at his swimming class. I like belonging to the local photograhy club and our annual exhibition is at Campus West and had four of my photos in. We had the Camera Club party this year in my garden on a really hot day. Losing our apple trees gives us no shade.Our pond is interesting and we loved seeing the frogs disporting themselves this spring.And my summer house has seen happy gatherings too. It is good to sleep in in summer too. This spring we will see lots of tulips Martin planted.
In December I went to Budapest and Bucharest. I love Eastern Europe. My first time was to Bulgaria in 1967. More Christmas festivals there, and it is lovely city. I was there in 1999 and also did the overnight train trip then and now to Bucharest to see Gabriel Anda and their lovely family. Oanne, Matthew and new baby Mihai. I love trains. I went to Romania after the revolution at 3 hours notice and flew in Caesecue's plane, flown by the Romanian air force.I am a railway child. It was a great legacy, travelling as children.We all can travel.
Next trip is Valencia in January and try TEFL, Teaching English as a Foreign Language, and stay with my friends Rafael and Julia who are staying with me between Christmas and New Year, and came earlier this year too.Then in February to Poland to meet a penfriend from Hospitalityclub there. And if I get it together, I want to go to India in March. I have been meaning to go for years but I keep turning up in America because Rachel and now Jaz are there.
So lots and lots of good things happened. Lots of beautiful people cared about me. You all know who you are.Thank you all.
Sad and bad things that happened..not a word from my daughter Elizabeth, now for 3 years,living only 40 miles away. And she doesn't keep in touch with the family, except one cousin living near her. My sister Deirdre has dementia and doesn't know anybody. She is 70. The man who built my new Pc wiped all my photos and writing from my old one. (boys with their toys!!)despite me emphasing how important these were to me, and all put on one hard drive. Denied it of course. A schitzophrenic bed and breakfast guest turned peculiar.Kevin and Jackie threw him out into the night. Tulin never did pay a penny of the huge debt she acrued while living here with her mother and sister. I was wrong about her. My friends were right. Some outbreaks of violence between Niki and Martin so the police were called. I was in America at the time. Niki moved out and Martin spent two week in jail. Jenna, a Social Services referral bed and breakfast guest took an overdose of speed and I found her unconscious on the bathroom floor. Called an ambulance. Good thing she had gone to the bathroom to be sick. I did a house dinner the evening I returned from Eastern Europe and Niki got drunk and called Ibe a "fucking bastard" which caused really bad ripples over Christmas. I knocked myself out falling backwards playing badminton, but recovered witn an ice pack to play again.
I didn't work with the homeless this year. I had a quiet and normal Christmas lunch with Barry and his son Leofric. I have seen a lot of them this year which has been fun. We all did a bike ride along the river and canal from Hertford meaning to get to London but were untrained!! Had a great day though.We are all good friends.
Our new next door neighbours are a lovely family. They use our shared drive and my front garden can now park four cars.The children Anna, 5 and Sophie, 3 are really great. We don't want them to fall into our pond. We both need new garages built further back. Mine is only a bike and freezer shed.
And next year I am meeting up with my Hammersmith Hospital friends in Malvern, and my midwifery friends at Avril's house in Yorkshire.
It has been lovely hearing from everybody and the house is filled with cards.
Wishing you all a very healthy and exciting 2006.

Val'srambles
"Paddy's Market"
Sometimes when lots of people were in our house, as a child, my mum called it "Paddy's Market". Sometimes it seems like "Paddy's Market" here with all the comings and goings of very many people.
It isn't a problem for me, and those residents who can't manage it, can go to their rooms, which all have televisions and comfort. This week was like this but no police this time. And no ambulance this week. Just an "Open House" with a well earned reputation for hospitality. One morning the four residents were up for breakfast, the two overnight visitors, the plumber, Jackie, Sheila and Barry coming. Now we are just Ibe Martin and me. Jenna went to a special place for young people with two residential Social workers there at all times. She is in court today. And her 15 year old boyfriend is out of jail today. It was like a "Romeo and Juliet" scenario, especially with the street gangs and court cases and alleged crimes.
Lots of good news. We will have a beautiful spring garden in the front as Martin planted lots of daffodils and tulips there yesterday.

I am doing a creative writing exercise for my first seven years. What do you think of this first draft? Any criticism welcome…I might extend to include first ten years..First seven years…Even my birth was unusual. I was my mother’s third child and when I had decided to
be born, I only took 20 minutes on the journey to arrive.. Meanwhile, my mummy had
told my daddy to get the midwife. This meant him getting on his bike and going to the
phone box in the cold winter darkness of a February night in the black out, as this was
during the war. By the time she arrived at our house on her bike, my mummy called
down the stairs, “I have a little girl” and her reply was “I am supposed to tell you that.
Not you me”. So there I was. Twenty minutes past midnight. No cone shaped head
from boring hours of tunnelling to
escape the confines of a soft warm place in the dark, but a pretty little girl, with big
blue eyes, and long eyelashes, ready to face the big wide world, which was to be a
fascinating and challenging experience. I was welcomed into this world by Mummy
Daddy, Michael, Deirdre, Peter and Roger, my three brothers and sister into a tiny
cold house on the railway estate in Hayes, very near what was to become Heathrow
Airport. My daddy worked on the railway mending the engines, which is how we
came to live in that house. My mummy was a nurse. I shared a freezing cold bed with
my sister with blankets and coats on top of us. It took ages to get warm. There were
beautiful ice patterns on the insides of our windows and I had terrible chilblains on
my fingers and toes, which cracked and bled and were very sore...and there was a
crucifix on the wall and an electric red one lit up and holy water at the door. We
prayed to be warm. Oh dear I did have a lot of religion in those days. Full time Roman
Catholic school and shipped off to Sunday school too to get rid of us. We used to
stand on the walls there and watch the Salvation Army play their music. After all
they said “Why should the devil have all the good tunes?” and they enjoyed their
band. We used to shout out “Salvation army have all gone barmy” and run away.
We had shamrock sent to us from our relatives in Ireland in envelopes for St. Patrick’s
Day and wore it proudly to school on March 17th pinned onto our uniforms.

We never did have a telephone or a car. We eventually got a black and white
television but not until after the coronation in 1952?, which we all watched at Alan
Spenser’s house, 4 doors away sitting on benches, riveted by a flickering black and
white screen. Watching the privileged rich from our humble place, I wonder when I
first became aware of the class system in this country? I used to go to the pawnshop


with my mum with granddad’s gold watch, and get thirty bob, and we all got fed and
we went to get it back again when we had money again.
We loved going to Saturday morning pictures at the local cinema and I nagged my
brothers to take me with them. Their reluctance was validated by their insistence that I
was too young and not big enough. “I am I am! “ I insisted, but they said “you’re not
big enough and when you are big enough you will be too old” but I wore them down
and they promised to take me if I lied and said I was six, so they made me practice
saying “I am SIX, I am SIX, I am SIX” as I was quire desperate to go to the cinema
with them. So when I was finally taken there, I was very excited. After all, there
would be a cowboy or war film, Pathe news, the cartoons etc all for four pence in
1949. What more could a little and determined girl want? So when the very big
Commissionaire, in a red uniform with shiny brass buttons, on looked down from his
colossal height and said “Little girl. How old are you?” I said, “I am four “ My
brothers said, “She is SIX!!” “I persisted “ I am four and I am going to be five on
February 16th” and we were all told off and sent home and my brothers were very
cross with me at missing the films because I couldn’t even tell a lie properly and
convincingly. Sometimes I learn things the hard way.
However when I was allowed to go, I was part of the team, which let the girls in
without paying, by opening the outside door by the girl’s toilet. A boy did the same
by opening the door on the other side of the film theatre by the boy’s toilet.
One day in the cinema a spiteful girl sitting behind me twisted chewing gum into my
lovely long hair. I was so immersed in the film I was unaware of this and it took my
mum a long time to get it out... However we did love our Hollywood stars and we used to get on the 140 bus and go
to London Airport to see them fly in. They were so glamorous. We saw Humphrey
Bogart and Lauren Bacall Doris Day and other such heroes and heroines. Heathrow
was so small then. It was only huts. This was before the Queen’s Building was
opened which is now Passenger One Building. We went on the roof to see the planes
come in. It was very exciting. We yearned to go on planes. We got autographs from
these beautiful and glamorous great people who spoke to us. .It was so exciting. I
have them still. And a wonderful authentic black and white autographed photo collection..


We never did have a phone and I had one friend whose family had one. So I could
talk for hours from the red telephone box at the end of my road for four big pennies,
when there were 240 pennies to one pound, until my brothers taught me how to tap
the phone, then I could talk for nothing, for as long as I wanted to. The black receiver
had to be pressed the same number of times as the number you wanted to call. It was
that easy.
We did have an inside bathroom and I didn’t know until 50 years later that we were
the envy of our Leicester cousins. When we went there we went to a toilet in the
garden and they had a tin bath hanging on the wall in the kitchen, which was used
when boilers of water were heated up and we had shallow baths. In our house we
always shared the water and I was about third in. It was an unforgettable occasion
when I had first water in a shallow bath. I did feel important .The water was heated
from a back boiler when we burned coal fires in our one living room.
We got cheap coal and cut up sleepers as my daddy was a railwayman,
and we all chopped firewood with a big axe.
Sleepers were once the big timbers on which the rails were set for the railways. Two
of our three bedrooms had fireplaces and when we were sick we could have a fire lit.
When I was three, my brother Kevin was born, so I wasn’t the baby any more. So now
we had six children. The four boys were in one room. My sister and I were in the
tiny room. And Mummy and Daddy were in the big room
He was always very good natured but he couldn’t keep secrets. I had bought
Roger a plywood aeroplane kit for Christmas and I told Kevin and he told Roger and I
was furious and I never ever forgave him. These things mattered to me when I was
six. He was someone my brother Roger, who is two years older than I am could beat
up, and did so for very many years until little Kevin realised he had grown to be as
tall as Roger. I worked very hard at peace keeping even then. Holding two brothers
apart so Kevin wouldn’t get hurt and cry. I also wrote notes and left them under the
budgie cage “Dear Mum. Rog said bum” because I was a good little girl. However I
never could drink tea. No matter how many times I tried to swallow it.
When I went to school I could always call on my brothers to defend me if someone
took my place in the bus queue or committed some other equally serious malpractice.
Simply the knowledge that “I’ll get my brothers on to you” gave me some standing
and personal power. And I was seven then.
On our way home from school we jumped on the backs of the steamrollers for a ride
home. And on the farm behind us we rode on the combine harvesters. We rode horses
and pigs and cows too, and all bareback. Pigs and cows didn’t like it. We were
fearless and immortal. We all double dared each other and you couldn’t be a ninny or
you would really lose face. And then you couldn’t be part of the gang.
None of us ever had any teddy bears as children. We didn’t have many toys. We made
lots of things. Like catapults and bows and arrows. Such as crystal sets and we
listened to the radio coming through a small thing in one ear. That was really exciting.There were very few stations then. We used to play marbles and my daddy used to
bring us home big shiny ballbearings from the engine sheds and we could swap these
for a hundred marbles. We used to say “Lardy on you” for first turn and play on
pavements in our road. Sweets were on ration for a long time after the
war. My mum left the coupons from her ration book in the sweet shop so when we
had spare pennies we spent ages evaluating what we would most like. Such as two
ounces of liquorice comfits so we got a lot, or sherbet lemons, which were very
heavy, so we only got four or five. We watched them being weighed and hoped it
would be five. Or penny gob stoppers, which we sucked for hours, and the colours
changed because we kept taking them out of our mouths to see them and compare
them. Aniseed balls were good too. We played cards and any other games we could
lay our hands on. I could play brag and poker from an early age. And gamble with
buttons and matchsticks. We spent a lot of time in the fields at the back of our house
making camps and we hung ropes from trees so we could swing over the river. We
made rafts, which sometimes floated, and sometimes disintegrated, so we fell in the
river. We scrumped Bramleys cooking apples from the derelict orchard and gave them
to neighbours. One day we found a cow in a clearing with two baby calves. We were
so excited. It had found somewhere private and safe to give birth and we were very
quiet. We were always out until we were hungry and then we came home. We didn’t
have watches and no one knew where we were.
We played “knock down ginger” when we knocked on peoples houses and ran away.
.I had a pretty new dress and I was so proud of it. I sat on a kerb side one hot sunny
day, just thinking, and watching the world go by. When I tried to stand up I was stuck
as the tarmac had melted under my bottom. I was very upset when I got home, as my
pretty dress was all sticky. My mother was furious, so I got rid of the sticky tar on the
back of my dress with a pair of scissors, and I cut the back out of it, and I couldn’t
understand why my mother was even more cross!!
One day, my life was so miserable, for one reason or another, that I ran away from
home on my scooter. I scooted about 10 miles and I planned to live in a concrete
shelter next to the canal. But I got cold and hungry so I scooted home exhausted. My
mum was furious again and took me the shops and told the shop assistants what a bad
girl I was, and thoroughly humiliated me, and took me to church and made me go to
confession. Nobody ever asked me what had made me run or scoot away.
One day we had an air gun so we put tins on the back fence and aimed at them. We
weren’t experienced marksmen, or markschildren so we often missed. Later that day
big policemen arrived on our doorstep asking if we had shot up the school as all the
windows were smashed a whole field away. We hadn’t realised the gun had such a
range. Of course we denied it but it was rather a coincidence.
When I was seven I could read. Kevin and I were in the town centre and in
Sketchley’s dry cleaning shop there was a teddy bear in the window, which was a
raffle prize. This was in 1952 and none of us had ever had a teddy bear. Kevin said,
“I would really like that teddy bear”. Well I could have said “Wouldn’t we all like a
teddy bear like that?” but mischief was inside me so I said airily, “It says on that sign
that this teddy is for anyone who birthday is on July 11th”. He was five years old and
incredulous. This really beggared belief, but when you are five and really want
something really badly like that teddy, you can have tunnel vision. “My birthday is
July 11th,” he said with uncontrolled joy, commitment and anticipation. “ No yours is
on the 10th” I said with cunning and control in a sympathetic way. “No really, really
it is 11th. What must I do now? “ He said “Well”, I said in a doubtful way” If your
birthday really is on 11th July, and I personally think it is 10th, you must go in and tell
them that and claim that teddy. “Are you sure?” he said with suspicion. “Well my
birthday is in February and I think yours is 10th and I can read and you can’t. I am
only telling you what the writing means.” I said with resignation. “Let’s go”. “No” he
said. “ I believe you and my birthday is on 11th and I will tell them”. He marched in
to tell the lady. I watched through the window as the entertainment started. One very
small and sincere boy of five was telling a very confused lady about his birthday and
demanding the much wanted teddy and pointing to it in the window. She explained to
him that it was a raffle prize. He realised with utter dismay and disappointment that
he had been conned by his sister and was very angry, and I was laughing myself silly
watching all this happen. I stayed watching too long as I was still there when he
emerged from the shop and beat me up with all the fury of a disappointed and duped
five year old..
We all went to mass on Sundays and at school in the week the nuns always wanted us
to bring in money for the missions in Africa. We all had little ladders on paper on the
wall, with our names on going up to heaven, and because I had my older brothers and
sister, I got money from them, so I had more ladders going to heaven, with changing
people’s beliefs in savage Africa, than any other self righteous little girl. We also had
mass registers on Mondays so we could say eight o’clock and 10 o’clock masses
Holy Communion and confession and get lots of stars and self satisfaction. And
relieved that we wouldn’t go to hell with all the eternal fire and damnation that week.
In between the two masses we were insulting the Salvation Army. I had had a pretty
white dress for my first holy communion and when we went to confession we had to
think up sins we had committed. “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I said shit.” And
he would give us a penance of three Hail Mary’s and make us promise to make a firm
purpose of amendment, And we knew if we got knocked down by a bus that day then
we wouldn’t go to hell..
We always had pets of a kind. We always had a dog and we mended birds with
broken legs in our air raid shelter in our garden. We splinted their legs with
matchsticks and lolly sticks. I don’t suppose any of them ever flew again but we gave
them our utmost expertise, which was mostly made up of enthusiasm and care. We
were all under 8 years old when we ran our sick animals hospital with little beds and
all made from wooden boxes with cotton wool. We played with the gas masks too and
one day I found a rusty egg shaped metal thing and I couldn’t get it apart. My oldest
brother Michael was around and recognised it as a hand grenade and they called the
police. When the big policeman collected it and peddled off with it in his saddlebag,
we watched him cycle up our road with terrific attention as we thought his bottom
would be blown off. We were quite disappointed that nothing happened. We loved
our dogs. Our dog Bambi was named after the deer in the Disney film. Our dog Judy
was red with curly hair. One morning she was on my tiny bed in my tiny room I
shared with my sister and I called down to my mum, because I didn’t dare move,
“Mummy. It’s Judy” “Leave her alone. She is having pups” my mum called back
“ But Mummy” “Leave her alone” “But Mummy she is having them on my bed” so
my mummy arrived very quickly and I lay in bed watching these red wet puppies
being born and they all had their eyes shut. It was a beautiful experience and our dog
had chosen my bed to have her litter. My sister was at work by then and missed the
excitement. I remember my mum cutting off puppies tails with a razor blade in the
kitchen and of course, putting a dressing on. My mum was a nurse. My daddy
mended the engines, which is why we lived in a railway house and why we all got
privilege tickets to travel on the railways. We went to Ireland and Scotland and
Leicester where our cousins lived and we often shared beds with them, top to toe, as
we all had big families and we all lived in small houses. We stayed in my
grandmother’s house in Rathmines in Dublin, which was the top floor of an old
house, and we played in the garden and sometimes we sneaked into O’Malley’s shed,
which was like a warehouse where furniture was stored and played hide and seek in
quite some fear because O’Malley was very cross if he ever found us in there and
chased us away.. We were quite alarmed when my uncle Joe belted his children across
their bottoms with a big buckled belt but he didn’t belt us for the same transgressions.
Like invading O’Malley’s shed. We also had the same god fearing belief in our safety
when we used to chant from the holy and safe part of the church’s grounds “Proddy
Woddies on the wall. Half a loaf will feed you all. Farthing candles show you light to
get you home on Friday night.” Because we knew they would all be drunk on payday
. And we would run back onto the sacred turf. Protected by our god and our religion
. Poor Protestants! We used to suck fuchsia stamens and I don’t know why. I think we
thought if bees liked them there might be some nutrition in them.
When we went to Scotland on a train we went on a little train from Glasgow to
Lennoxtown. Two Irish families lived in the same road. So we had eight cousins to
play with. We used to lose ourselves in Campsie Glen, which is very beautiful.
Sometimes we were put on trains in London, without adults, and were met in Dublin
or Glasgow or Leicester by aunts and uncles. Once my father found a nun on the train
in Paddington and asked her to look after us but when he left, peaceful in his heart
that a holy person was looking after us, we lost her, as we knew then what we could
manage. And we had enough of nuns in school. They caned us. Girls on hands and
boys on bottoms.
At home we were busy enough. We helped the milkman and the baker who both had
horses and carts. My brother Roger got his foot run over by a bakers cart and we all
got free delicious factory cakes until he got better. Of course he limped for a long
time on purpose. My mum baked good cakes but nothing like a factory one.. I helped
Mrs. Gilbert in the dry cleaners sort her buttons. She used to send me to the
fishmonger to get her an eel, which was so fresh it was killed in front of my very
eyes. I used to stay for tea on eel day and have a boiled egg. And oh the ice cream
from the Italian man three doors away on the shopping parade was wonderful. Oh the
cornets and wafers we had. We had a cake factory near us and they had a piggy bin,
which was like a coalbunker, where left over cakes went unless they were intercepted
by us. They used to hold my feet while I was upside down in the bin stretching for
iced fancies or some other such treasures.
One day I found a three-penny bit and I sucked it clean and by mistake, I swallowed
it. My mum made me put my fingers down my throat to be sick, and, sure enough, on
the pavement in the middle of my vomit, was my three-penny bit, and she just would
not let me extract it. I was so disappointed. I really had been so thrilled to find that
three-penny bit and I was not allowed to keep it.


One day we were out with our dog Judy and we called her across the road right in
front of what was then, a very occasional lorry and she was run over and killed The
driver had to face three distressed children accusing him of killing our dog. The poor
man put our dead dog and us in the back of his lorry and took us all home. We were
all crying. We buried her in the field at the bottom of our garden. And prayed for her
to go to heaven so she would be there when we got there. We knew we could have
everything we wanted when we were in heaven. We put a cross on her grave..School dinners were dreadful. We walked single file and silent to a canteen where we
had to eat both courses with the same fork and spoon, and if we hid cold hard lumpy
potatoes under our pudding plate and were discovered, we then had to eat it. Greasy
Spam fritters and chips and fatty stews and soggy cabbage and other such dinners we
were supposed to be glad of because starving children in Africa would be, and we
tried to work out ways of posting lumpy potatoes to appreciative African children,
wherever Africa was.
The local theatre closed down after Noel Coward’s play “Hay Fever” and this made a
wonderful place to play in. We took a panel out of a door and squeezed in. Imagine
the fun we had when we discovered the spring door on the stage and the mechanism
that propelled a person through it. We gathered lots of friends to enjoy all this and
took it in turns to spring through the floor. We dressed up in all the costumes too and
performed dramas on the stage. Sadly one day our entry hole had big planks nailed
across it and a NO ENTRY sign. So that was the end of that game.
We collected jam jars and took them to the jam factory in an old pram and got a
penny each for them and we got a penny for the lemonade bottles too.
There was dreadful pea soup fog when we were little. We couldn’t see our hands
stretched out in front of our eyes when we went to school. We had scarves over our
mouths, which were wet by the time we got to school, but Saint Christopher looked
after travellers so we would never get lost.. St. Francis looked after animals. St.
Anthony found lost things and Saint Jude was the patron of hopeless causes and we
often needed him.

Propinquity November 2005

Everybody asks me how I can live with people, sharing all my house. Since 1983 when I was first alone and broke, I filled up my house with people. I worked out, as Oscar Wild did, "I tried it rich. I tried it poor. Rich is better". And so it came to pass, that very many people came to live in my house over the years. And my life has been very much enriched with meeting all kinds of people. I wish I had kept a list of even names of people who have been relevant people in my life when they lived here. But I didn't. Some beautiful and not so beautiful people have stayed here. And I am just going to remember some. Starting with the present lodgers.
Niki came to live here about four years ago. Her dad brought her to me when she was in a very sad and bewildered state after a relationship had broken down which left her homeless too. The environment here is therapeutic and got her better and happy again and she met and married Martin and they both lived here. Except for five months when they set out to live in idyllic marital bliss in a flat they rented. That much hoped for bliss vapourised in the cold and clinical realisation of truth. This was identified in meeting high costs, or not, as it happened. And having no visitors. So they returned here. Costa are less, if paid at all! And there is always something interesting going on here. Viz real people who are a veritable joy.
Life is never dull here. All kinds of things happen. Celebrations for any reason really. The joy of visitors from many parts of the world. Nothing is really unexpected. We even came to accept the police being called to the house when there was a Niki Martin fight. Those who know the play "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck, will remember Lenny. Big and powerful but not very bright. That is Martin. Martin has just returned from spending two weeks in prison, for breach of his probation. A week in Bedford and a week in Milton Keynes. And he can tell some interesting stories. He is dyslexic and cannot read or write. Such is the severity of it. So he can't write his stories. He is really good around the house and mends things and loves gardening. He is very loyal. As is Niki. And he will be back at work next week.
Having another room to let, I put it on the Bed and Breakfast part of where to stay locally, on the Internet. Our present guest is Jenna, who is a Social Services emergency housing client. She is 16. She made the front page of our local paper this week by being drunk and disorderly in a fracas with the police. She spent all day today in court. Her 15 year old boyfriend was held on remand in a youth jail. She is only in because she is under a curfew restriction and must be here 8pm until 8am. She is a very pleasant young lady to me. She will probably go to a housing project next week. Social services are paying me £25 a night and she hardly eats and is a skinny little thing. So she has a young man visitor this evening.
So I have had a big share of various aspects of the legal system recently.
Ibe lives here too. He has been here since spring 2004 and is the son of an old friend who lives four doors up the road. This is a halfway house for him, as having a terrific brain, he is studying for his Masters degree and washing dishes at the Old People/Nursing home up the road from us. I really enjoy him being here. He has great charisma and is good natured and we have interesting discussions. I am really glad he came to live here, as various well meaning friends told me not to take him in. He had a breakdown and was sectioned. He enjoys being here. Sometimes he cooks two dinners. Sometimes the second one is eaten after the first one. Sometimes put in the fridge for another time. Sometimes given to me. He recently moved my whole PC corner around 90 degrees as he felt that where it was, I could watch everything and everybody in the house. It bothered him enough to move it. And I will get used to it. But I cannot get my big dining table out to its ultimate size now for the big gatherings around a table I so love. I ought to get the extension sorted really. Then we can have a dining conservatory and a downstairs toilet.
Last year there were seven people living here which were three too many. Tulin is a dancer from Istanbul. I watched her in ballet once. She was lovely. She brought her Mum Aysen and sister Tugba to live here too. And yet none of the three of them paid. I know Shaw's play "Widower's Houses" but I am not like the anti hero in the play. People living here are supposed to pay an agreed rent. But visitors don't. They left owing eight months rent if just one paid. And with long time use of a television and video player which enhance their lives, in their tiny one room flat. I am glad they are not here as we had different Prima donna situations to deal with then.
I have never ever lived alone. I grew up in my big family. Lived in flats when I was a student. Had my own family. So I like living with people. And often the residents share some of the social things I organise. Films, theatre, walking weekends I used to do. One, little Val, even came to Prague when eight of us went there. It is a good house to come and live in, and I am a very generous landlady with sharing. The three rooms which are let all have televisions now. And we all enjoy our pond and I enjoy my summerhouse at the end of the garden if I really want to get away from them all.

The joy of family. Belonging.
I am the fifth of six children and I have a great sense of belonging. Now this family lives in eight different countries as we all grew up travelling. My daddy worked mending the engines so we all had free and cheap railway travel. We used to visit our cousins in Dublin, in Ballyfermot, then the biggest housing estate in Europe, Lennoxtown, near Glasgow and our English ones in Leicester.
My "early years" is quite a story.

Travelling.
The joy of exploring new places has never left me. Growing up with free and cheap train tickets from my daddy working to mend the old steam engines, we used to visit our cousins in Ireland, Scotland and Leicester. We had Irish ones and English ones. An Irish daddy and an English Mummy. There were six children. I had four brothers and a sister. I then hitch hiked 30,000 miles which was a wonderful way to travel, meeting all kinds of interesting people. And seeing many exciting places. This was between being 17 and 24 years of age.
I took my two daughters travelling and we had great adventures on our bikes to Germany, Holland and France, camping or staying in Youth Hostels. We took our back packs to Athens, then boats to see some of the islands. Took them to Canada and little brother Kevin took my family and his camping in the Rockies. Took them to Disneyland in California that trip too.

My daughter Rachel lives in Los Angeles with her husband Rob and their delightful daughter Jaz, who was born in July 2004. So I have been to America often to see her, wherever she was. This year I had a wonderful month in the States to see different places, as well as being at Jaz's first birthday party. She is a beautiful fun loving little girl. Rachel takes her to work where she is looking after two little boys. So she has little people company too.
It was great trip involving lots of planning and emailing people. I stayed with members of www.womenwelcomewomen.org.uk and some other friends. I went to Minnesota, the State of 10,000 lakes and there they have two seasons, Winter and Road Building. I swam in the huge lake at the end of Mary's garden. They skate on it in winter. Met some beautiful women there. Mary, Sandy, Dee, Natalie and Susan. Great memories of Minnesota. Then to San Francisco. I stayed in a small youth hostel near Union Square. I loved this city. I wish Rachel lived here instead of in the suburbs of LA. I was fascinated by a city I could manage to explore on public transport. Went to Alcatraz and felt for the people who were incarcerated in there as there was no escape. Although many people tried. Loved Fisherman's Wharf. The tram and Trolley went there. Had a great fish dinner there. Met an interesting teacher called Anne, from the Bronx so we walked over the Golden Gate bridge together. We also visited a teddy bear factory and there were letters from enthusiastic children who had enjoyed their visit. Anne wished that her students could write as well as this, Am not convinced that President Bush's promise of "No child left behind" will work.
I loved seeing the Musee Mechanique with all the things that once filled Victorian piers.
I met Linda a 5W and Matthew a member of www.hospitalityclub.com and had interesting evenings with dinner with each of them.
Then I got on a bus to LA as I wanted to meet my Australian nephew Nick and his partner Maggie who had just ridden Route 66 from Chicago to LA on a Harley. Rachel and Jaz met my bus and we all met up in Santa Monica for dinner. Years since I met Nick. Warm and fun loving people. And Rachel's house is lovely and Jaz was magic. They have a hot tub and jacuzzi on the terrace and after a session in there I wanted to stay out and sleep, unbitten. We all cooked for a first birthday party, and Jaz had a beautiful ice cream cake. We all stayed indoors with the air condioning on , because it was over 100 outside. It practically never gets that hot here. I had a very enjoyable two days of Jaz care and we both loved that. Rachel Jaz and I went to the Getti which we all enjoy.
Texas next. Met by Ben and Frieda. I knew two lots of friends and planned to meet a third one Cheryl with whom I play bridge on line. And I only had 3 nights and two days. Promised each friend I would spend a night in each house. And we all met up at Jim and Johnnie's ranch in Muldoon. Johnnie is another friend from internet bridge. I stayed with them a few years ago and went on the trip to Mexico then to put the roof on a clinic the charity was building. Except instead of, or as well as, hammering roof panels together, I took photos of nearly every child in the village. Got them to help me mount an exhibition at the clinic site on a roof panel. Then they distributed the photos around the village and the duplicates to the American students on the trip.
This time we ate drank laughed looked at and photographed 180 quilts Johnnie and Jim had made for Mexico, met Johnnie's son and family in the next house of the 100 acres and played bridge. And we were only there for 18 hours. Had a look around Houston with Cheryl and the Fine Arts Museum with a wonderful dramatic sculpture of a horse by Debra Butterfield. And The Impressionists were lovely too. Went to the Butterfly house too for a live encounter with multicoloured beautiful symbols of my life and mind.
To Knoxville Tennessee and met by a joyful group of 5Ws Dixie Judy and Kay and flowers too. They all live in Lakeside homes because the Tennessee River has been dammed about 32 times. The farmers losing their land were very poorly compensated but the real esate developers for lakeside homes were very well paid. I was interested in the Homesteads experiment during the depression in the Roosevelt administration. (I live in a Garden City) 252 farmsteads can be seen from the top of the firetower. The people worked this land with the promise they could buy it. But the government was then reluctant to honour their promises. But united and focussed power of the people persuaded them to sell the land. We saw an interesting play called"A Homestead Album" in the local theatre with a huge cast and great singing.
I stayed in Judy's house which was full of her lovely weaving and patchwork. And antiques. Charlie, her husband, has a 1964 red Ford Mustang in pristine condition in the garage and a powerful boat for fishing.
Then we all met up for another lunch and to transfer me to Dixie. And to my delight a 5W friend from Virginia who has stayed here a few times, travelled five hours each way to meet up with us.
From Dixie's house we went downtown to Knoxville on public transport. I have met Dixie in England and love her enthusiasm and passion for helping people. We had great beer there, because the barman called it nectar, and were nearly drowned in a horizontal rain lashed storm. We went to a Democrat picnic in the rain too. But the shelter was big enough for us all. And it is always good to meet local people.
And then I flew to Philadelphia. I was at Chicago airpport three times in changing planes. United and 14 planes. Airports are interesting places for Art and exhibitions so my three hours were soon passed.
My friend Michael met me eventually. We had great fun and his house share friend Susan is lovely. We did at least 50 miles in Philadelphia without leaving the city. Saw one of Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" and more Impressionists and Chinese Temples and Japanese Tea Houses at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Saw armed guards at Independence Hall and The Liberty Bell and the coin covered grave of Benjamin Franklin, surely one of the greatest Americans ever. Went to Bucks County and the Mercer Museum with it's great collection of about 50,000 artifacts, Conestoga wagon, farm tools, boats etc in Doylestown, PA, and Mercer's home, Fonthill which he built himself from poured concrete. 44 fabulous rooms with an enthusiastic guide. And the Moravian Pottery works , still producing tiles for all over the world. We went to Yardley and had a great dinner of salmon and grouper and fried feta cheese. Went on a run through the National Constitution centre, rang the Normandy Liberty Bell, ran as in car, late for the airport. Wrong terminal. Right terminal . Too late to check my luggage. Ran to customs, Bells ringing everywhere in security, purple backpack emptied. Beloved pen knife confiscated. My jacket ringing with too many coins. Me in tears because I would miss my plane to Vermont. Security people held the plane for me. Scrambed for it. More stress than usual. I wonder why Michael cleaned his swimming pool during our agreed must be on the road time.?
Vermont to be met by Kitty. A bright politically astute writer. Slept in a cold hard dog smelling bed, but the people were lovely and even the dogs were ok. Went walking. And helped her two musician women friends, Baltimore Philharmonic, build a house. We assembled polystyrene tunnels for the liquid concrete to be poured in. It was a really great trip with beautiful people everywhere. I just had my purple backpack and pocket digital camera.
Ken met me at Heathrow and I ran a dance that evening.

And an Autumn morning with the trees changing colour but no sunshine as yet. This is my first blog but I want to have it up and running by Christmas. What a difference the Internet has made to my life. I can keep in touch with many of my relations as we live in 8 countries, and friends around the world. And as I love travelling I can book my flights too on line with cheap fares. Am going to see my honeychild niece Karen in Dublin and my special niece Beverley in Geneva in November.
I am a Leisure professional and I love cinema and theatre so I see a lot of films and plays locally. I loved my first Film Festival last weekend at Campus West. 38 films over two days. Some were only a few minutes long. It was great to meet the film makers. The best actor winner was there from Vancouver. It was film about drugs. He was selling them and his 16 year old sister got addicted to Heroin. He was only 20 when the film was made and in the acting and fighting he really did get his nose broken. I have met drug addicts when I was doing the soup kitchen in Picadilly and working in a day centre in King Street Covent Garden in 1971. And with working with the homeless in London every Christmas. I love enthusiastic creative people. This has been an interesting two weeks. Have seen "Swimming Upsteam" , a true story of an ambitious swimmer son with an alcoholic father. I love heroes who overcome great difficulties to achieve their dreams. I have met many in my involvement with Tall Ships sailing. "Machucca" a film from Chile. Then it was our Photographic Club exhibition in the New Maynard Gallery, which is where I see my films. Four of my photos are on the wall. I played badminton a few times which I enjoyed very much. My whole second career started by my enthusiasm in playing badminton at Gosling over 30 years ago. My Women's Luncheon Club had an interesting speaker Brenda Harley "How I became a real Sew and Sew". A passionate sewing lady who created clothes from everyone from cross dressers to greyhounds.
I saw an charming American play "Over the River and Through the Trees" at the Barn. Four grandparents in Hoboken didn't want their beloved grandson to leave for far away Seattle. Beautifully paced. Atmospheric. 3 Fs "Family Food and Fun".
Saw "Bombon el Pero" a film from Argentine. About a man and his dog.
I made nearly 200 photocards from photos from my website.www.photoboxgallery.com/photosbyVal which made the dining room a card factory for a week. It will be fine again for the next dinner with my friends Judy and Alan from Lancashire who are coming tomorrow. I love eating and drinking with friends.
And the residents here... Martin is in Jail for two weeks for breaking his probation order with violence to Niki, his wife, in summer when I was in America. Niki lives in her own bedsit now and has a good job. And I have a Social Services Emergency bed and breakfast client , 16 year old. Jenna for a week. She went to court this week for something minor but what a shame to have a criminal record by 16. So several visits from Social workers. Ibe is in his second year here and I really enjoy having him around. There should be a resident sit com writer living here.
And tonight is a Green Party meeting. How much greener I used to be with saving egg boxes etc and only having bikes. And how much I love travelling and taking planes and trains everywhere. In December I am going to Budapest then Bucharest by overnight train to see Gabi Anda and by then their three children.
I wish I had kept the early visitors book, as hundreds of people have been here during the 30 years I have lived here. And with the joy of being retired and belonging to 18 organisations, 3 of which are travel focussed, lots of people come here.
These are www.womenwelcomewomen.org.uk
www.hospitalityclub.com
and www.couchsurfing.org
It is a warm and welcoming house. This year is our second year for our pond and summer house. We love our pond and frogs and dragon flies we have. We have dinners and social meetings in the summer house and I have slept out there too.