Propinquity November 2005

Everybody asks me how I can live with people, sharing all my house. Since 1983 when I was first alone and broke, I filled up my house with people. I worked out, as Oscar Wild did, "I tried it rich. I tried it poor. Rich is better". And so it came to pass, that very many people came to live in my house over the years. And my life has been very much enriched with meeting all kinds of people. I wish I had kept a list of even names of people who have been relevant people in my life when they lived here. But I didn't. Some beautiful and not so beautiful people have stayed here. And I am just going to remember some. Starting with the present lodgers.
Niki came to live here about four years ago. Her dad brought her to me when she was in a very sad and bewildered state after a relationship had broken down which left her homeless too. The environment here is therapeutic and got her better and happy again and she met and married Martin and they both lived here. Except for five months when they set out to live in idyllic marital bliss in a flat they rented. That much hoped for bliss vapourised in the cold and clinical realisation of truth. This was identified in meeting high costs, or not, as it happened. And having no visitors. So they returned here. Costa are less, if paid at all! And there is always something interesting going on here. Viz real people who are a veritable joy.
Life is never dull here. All kinds of things happen. Celebrations for any reason really. The joy of visitors from many parts of the world. Nothing is really unexpected. We even came to accept the police being called to the house when there was a Niki Martin fight. Those who know the play "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck, will remember Lenny. Big and powerful but not very bright. That is Martin. Martin has just returned from spending two weeks in prison, for breach of his probation. A week in Bedford and a week in Milton Keynes. And he can tell some interesting stories. He is dyslexic and cannot read or write. Such is the severity of it. So he can't write his stories. He is really good around the house and mends things and loves gardening. He is very loyal. As is Niki. And he will be back at work next week.
Having another room to let, I put it on the Bed and Breakfast part of where to stay locally, on the Internet. Our present guest is Jenna, who is a Social Services emergency housing client. She is 16. She made the front page of our local paper this week by being drunk and disorderly in a fracas with the police. She spent all day today in court. Her 15 year old boyfriend was held on remand in a youth jail. She is only in because she is under a curfew restriction and must be here 8pm until 8am. She is a very pleasant young lady to me. She will probably go to a housing project next week. Social services are paying me £25 a night and she hardly eats and is a skinny little thing. So she has a young man visitor this evening.
So I have had a big share of various aspects of the legal system recently.
Ibe lives here too. He has been here since spring 2004 and is the son of an old friend who lives four doors up the road. This is a halfway house for him, as having a terrific brain, he is studying for his Masters degree and washing dishes at the Old People/Nursing home up the road from us. I really enjoy him being here. He has great charisma and is good natured and we have interesting discussions. I am really glad he came to live here, as various well meaning friends told me not to take him in. He had a breakdown and was sectioned. He enjoys being here. Sometimes he cooks two dinners. Sometimes the second one is eaten after the first one. Sometimes put in the fridge for another time. Sometimes given to me. He recently moved my whole PC corner around 90 degrees as he felt that where it was, I could watch everything and everybody in the house. It bothered him enough to move it. And I will get used to it. But I cannot get my big dining table out to its ultimate size now for the big gatherings around a table I so love. I ought to get the extension sorted really. Then we can have a dining conservatory and a downstairs toilet.
Last year there were seven people living here which were three too many. Tulin is a dancer from Istanbul. I watched her in ballet once. She was lovely. She brought her Mum Aysen and sister Tugba to live here too. And yet none of the three of them paid. I know Shaw's play "Widower's Houses" but I am not like the anti hero in the play. People living here are supposed to pay an agreed rent. But visitors don't. They left owing eight months rent if just one paid. And with long time use of a television and video player which enhance their lives, in their tiny one room flat. I am glad they are not here as we had different Prima donna situations to deal with then.
I have never ever lived alone. I grew up in my big family. Lived in flats when I was a student. Had my own family. So I like living with people. And often the residents share some of the social things I organise. Films, theatre, walking weekends I used to do. One, little Val, even came to Prague when eight of us went there. It is a good house to come and live in, and I am a very generous landlady with sharing. The three rooms which are let all have televisions now. And we all enjoy our pond and I enjoy my summerhouse at the end of the garden if I really want to get away from them all.